


You Are My Light - You Are My Night

by Rabbit (Majorminor2242)



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Love, But Everything Will Be Alright In The End, Dragon Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Dragons Have Magic, Hiccup Becomes a Light Fury, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless Friendship, Magic, Memory Loss, Protective Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon), Slight betrayal, Toothless and Hiccup Brotherly Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21769249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majorminor2242/pseuds/Rabbit
Summary: After a life-changing incident involving accidental magic that Hiccup struggles to adapt to and accept, Toothless feels forced to partially wipe his memories -with the best of intents. He knows that someday, Hiccup will figure it out, and he can only pray that he accepts his apology when that inevitable time comes... But for now, Toothless will keep his promise:That until death,He will be the best big brother a dragon can be.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III & Toothless
Comments: 19
Kudos: 116





	You Are My Light - You Are My Night

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set during the events of HTTYD 1, however things have changed slightly. Hiccup has gotten to know Toothless for several months instead of days/weeks, giving them a slightly more advanced relationship.
> 
> This also means that the Beta Queen 'Red Death' of the dragon nest has NOT been defeated -yet, at least.

_:: WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!?! ::_ Hiccup screeched as he stared into the reflection of the lake within the cove.

 _:: I'm sorry Hiccup! I'm sorry! It was an acci- ::_ Toothless felt his heart shatter as he was cut off once more by a feral snarl of betrayal.

You may be wondering what had happened; I'm sure you have your suspicions already if you've read the title and tags. But for your sake, I'll take you to the beginning of this story. To where it all began...

**_Several Hours Earlier:_ **

"Ohhhh Toooothhleeesss, I have a present for you!" Hiccup glanced around the cove for a little while, confusion growing on his face when he found it empty. "Huh?"

Suddenly, he found himself dwarfed in a shadow from behind and tackled (gently) to the ground, staring up at what would be the usually menacing, slitted eyes of a ferocious Night Fury.

They were currently wide and gentle, adorned by his adorable little 'toothless' smile -literally a gummy, draconic interpretation of a human smile.

Hiccup smiled with laughter at the dragon's antics of playfulness. "Hey bud! How you doing?"

He received a croon of indifference, along with a slobbery lick to the face, creating protest. "Bleugh- egh, why bud?! You know that doesn't wash out!" he stated halfheartedly with a sleeve brought to his face.

Toothless only dropped his head onto Hiccup's torso, effectively flattening him on the ground and pinning him lazily. Hiccup took this as an opportunity for comedy. "Oh no! Humans and dragons, mortal enemies once more! Ohhhh noooooo, dragon! Please don't eat me!" they playfully pawed at each other, grinning blissfully in each other's presence. Toothless gave another lick to the chin with his tongue, only causing Hiccup to giggle harder at the ticklish spot. "HAHahaha, noOOOoo hehe! ToOTHless! ALRight alright, you wi-HAHAHA-no stop!" he mock-surrendered, which pleased the prideful dragon.

Toothless always felt good about beating anyone at anything. Saying he had a large ego would be fair seeing as he _was_ the coolest dragon there was -and don't you forget it! However 'beating' Hiccup at anything he could was especially good -since they were so evenly matched in the first place and he actually had to try to keep up otherwise, thus making everything challenging yet satisfying. He'd accept a loss to Hiccup for artistic talent and ingenuity of his level (even though he still beat most other dragons he knew), but you thought he wasn't going to abuse his own size and weight to his advantage in mock battles like this, then you thought wrong.

Standing up from his splayed position over his scrawny rider, he collapsed back onto the base of his tail, sitting like any bipedal would on his hind haunches, treating it almost as though his tail was a chair. His posture gave his curious intent away immediately.

_What is this present?_

Hiccup chuckled, easily reading his dragon's body language. "Hehe, I think you're going to like this one a lot! At least, I hope so."

Slowly pulling out an unfamiliar contraption from below a cloth to their side, he heaved it up and into his arms, before turning to Toothless.

"Usually, one of our human traditions is to celebrate 'Snoggletog' during winter, when the dragons don't raid and the snow falls, by giving each other presents! Soooo, I built you a tail that _should_ finally allow you to have full free reign over the skies! I still feel really bad for taking your solo-flight, so how does that sound? -Not that I don't love flying with you more than anything else in the world, but you can fly on your own again with this if you want! Plus, you wont have to carry me around everywhere you go if you just want a flight at an inconvenient time for me or something…" Hiccup held it up with a little strain, for the dragon to come closer, inspect and sniff at.

He waited for any response, still uncertain if the dragon found this positive or negative to receive due to his stoic, thin-lipped expression, however eventually, the dragon brought his tail round and crooned towards Hiccup pleadingly.

He smiled; it had been received well. "Alright, hold on buddy, just let me get this tied on and you can go for a little spin, alright?"

Once he finished tightening the straps, Hiccup expected to feel a powerful gust as Toothless took off, but was shocked into re-opening his expectantly-closed eyes at his abrupt weightlessness, then realising exactly what was going on. Toothless had lifted him up onto his back anyway, even without the saddle that he usually wore to hold on tight (which was for the manual tail fin now not in use).

"Uhh, bud? I really appreciate the gesture that you'll never leave me behind or below -I don't think there's anything in the world that makes me happier to know- buuuuut I hope you realise that like this you can't do any tricks or anything, alright? I can't hold on too securely now, so _definitely_ no barrel-rolls." he shuddered at the thought of going… _free-fall skydiving_ , like that one time the _first_ time they went flying together.

_Talk about an_ _experience to tell the grandkids_.

Hiccup was relieved when he heard Toothless warble in confirmation, before suddenly he found themselves launching into the sky at an alarmingly rapid pace. It wasn't too hard to hold onto the dragon's thick neck when going in a purely straight direction, but the pace definitely startled the boy.

"W-whaoa! Bud, is this how fast you _usually_ would take off?!" He suppressed an incredulous 'eep' when the dragon grinned. Hiccup then held on a LOT tighter when they began to reach straight speeds Hiccup had never known or experienced before, and the rush of adrenaline they both felt at banking as hard as they dared sent him pressed into the dragon's back from the momentum and force. "WHOO-HOOO! OH MY GODS, TOOTHLESS, THIS IS _AMAZING!_ OH WOW! I DON'T THINK I EVER WANNA SLOW DOWN EVER AGAIN!" he screamed over the wind in delight, causing the dragon to smile ecstatically up at his rider. Hiccup had never in his life found any reason to fly this 'recklessly' before; what would be the point if they were going to die? But only now was he realising that perhaps he'd been overlooking the old but renowned fact that Night Furies were the fastest, most daring, simply _best_ fliers in the sky.

So why the hell should he worry about taking a couple tight turns again…?

Toothless was just really glad that Hiccup enjoyed this as much as he did. For a flightless species, humans were missing out on a lot, but he promised a long while ago that Hiccup would be his intuitive guider if Toothless would be his wings. They'd work together forever, and even though Hiccup wasn't controlling the second tail fin currently -which admittedly felt uncomfortably unnatural now to him- Toothless never planned on flying without the boy, even with his own control.

In these past few months, the two had grown closer together than anyone else. They fit each other, like two jigsaw pieces.

Each their Yin to their Yang.

Soaring higher with renewed, deepened vigour to give Hiccup the best demonstration of a Night Fury's flight, he raised to a lone, thick cloud that sat strangely still in the sky. Bursting through the first layer, it felt like sinking (or floating) through the wool on sheep, and Hiccup could only gasp in delight.

"Wow, I've never seen a cloud like this before! It feels almost **magical**!" and there it was.

_**Do it.** _

Without any warning, nor control of his body, something primitive clicked into place in Toothless' mind, and without even realising, he had begun to build up the thickest gas he could in his mouth, except it tingled and felt strange, as though there was somehow magic influencing it.

Overspilling from his maw, something inside of him decided that it had built up enough, when suddenly a strangely _ethereal-white_ blast shot through the sky, before the biggest shockwave Toothless had ever produced from a blast rocked the very air itself and sent a tingling sense of unplaceable satisfaction.

What felt like the voices of ancestors within him sounded with differing opinions of what he had done, some regarding it as 'foolish', others as 'deserving' and 'well-placed', and several as 'simply unethical', but all that Toothless really felt himself was…

Pride.

In Hiccup, he felt pride that he was his closest friend. He felt pride that Hiccup had atoned for shooting him down and injuring him by gifting him back his flight through several incrementally improved stages, as well as showing him true companionship, trust and love.

_He felt pride over the beautiful heart that rested within his boy._

Toothless felt a sudden slump on his back, finding it strange that the death-grip Hiccup had held on him previously had slackened and was slowly slipping further and further down and back.

Perhaps he shouldn't have shaken the boy up so much as to the point he passed out…

Slowing down, he came to a fly-still and craned his neck backwards, and found the adorable view of his rider sleeping blissfully and snoring ever so lightly, indicating that he wouldn't wake up easily nor soon -although he felt a little irritated at the drool dribbling down onto his back, he ignored it.

Cautiously, he turned around and began to make his way back to the cove. Even with his flight regained and the opportunity to leave, the cove had become like a home to the both of them. A special place that remained untouched by any other being than themselves. A peaceful place to escape and just _be free with each other._

Setting down with grace, he gently slid the peaceful boy off of his back and onto the thick, pillowy grass below. A groan escaped his lips, head lolling gently and arm raising.

"Uuhhhhhg, wh-at… happened…?" blinking blearily, everything felt overpowering to Hiccup. His eyes were blinded by the sky above and every breeze that slid through the grass deafened him. All he could smell was the strong stench of the metal, soot and earthy smell of himself, as well as the musky smell of raw fish and nature that came from Toothless, which somehow felt comforting to him. He'd never really noticed how Toothless smelt like a dewy mountain at sunrise, but it made him smile without realising.

"Tooth…less?" he found himself covered by a hulking shadow, finally allowing him to see and staring up at the confused look the dragon was giving him.

 _Are you alright?_ It visibly asked him.

"I- I don't know… I feel really… _fuzzy._ What- what... happened? All I remember is passing through that strange cloud tingling, you shooting that blast and then suddenly feeling really tired. Does it have something to do with us passing through that cloud and blast maybe…?" he was half talking to himself, but still found Toothless glance at him sheepishly, before guiltily looking away.

What had the dragon _done?_

Without warning, Hiccup _felt_ his answer provided. A sudden, breath-taking jolt of shock ran through his entire body, the calm before the storm of explosive agony that blasted him only seconds later. "GAAAH! WHAT THE HEL IS GOING ONNNNnnnn _nn_ -" his mind numbed as he found himself unable to keep talking, no matter how hard he tried to repel the fluttery feeling inside of him. His entire body fell numb and limp, unable to move anything even slightly as though his brain was no longer attached to his nervous system.

Not even his eyelids would open.

The moment he noticed this, Hiccup realised something that freaked him out more than ever before: In the dark shadows of nothingness within him, in the empty space that he'd never in his life noticed and knew he never would have if it weren't for this debilitating experience, the emptiness had been replaced by a swirling, glowing ball of white and gold, which sucked like a vortex into a sparkling core at its centre.

It slowly expanded within the depths of his mind, within minutes filling up more and more of the empty cracks of void, until eventually, it _popped_ and Hiccup found himself no longer able to even think.

He closed what should be his impossible, metaphorical, internal-eyes without a choice.

**~oOo~**

_Oh Dragoness of the Moon what have I just done?_

Toothless felt like crying, seeing his rider fall limp and lifeless in his shadow. For the short moment he had woken up again, he looked overloaded to everything around him, hardly managing to register the dragon's own presence himself, however the moment he began to talk, he collapsed.

He was still breathing, but it was slow and gentle. He was still colourful, not pale like death nor bloodied like wounded…

_So what was wrong with his motionless rider?_

_:: Oh Gods, please don't leave me Hiccup! Please don't let this mean you're dying from whatever that blast did to you… Oh this is all my fault! I should not have let my instincts take over so easily! ::_ he whipped his head around. No matter how hard he told himself that, however, Toothless couldn't force himself to feel as much guilt as he thought he should, since he knew deep inside that he had already tried his hardest not to listen to his instincts so easily.

There was simply not much he could do when they took control over him -just like _Her_.

Turning back to the boy, he closed his eyes and calmed his breathe. Panicking wouldn't do any good for Hiccup, so he refused to let himself panic.

 _:: But what even happened? I'm as clueless as he was… ::_ Toothless tried to ignore the niggling in the back of his mind, but couldn't drown out the voice inside his own head.

**_You know exactly what you did, you just_ _can't remember what it means._ **

_:: So then TELL ME! ::_ he roared.

_Hiccup didn't flinch._

Walking back over, he fell to the ground in front of Hiccup, head resting underneath his paws in fear of his boy not waking up. Of not flying with him again after just having installed this new prosthetic.

_The prosthetic._

Toothless, flung his tail to his face with a snarl, glaring claws **(AN: 'glaring daggers' but the dragon equivalent)** at the invention with a deep rooted hatred. He didn't want to fly if it wasn't with Hiccup.

_He lost that craving a long time ago._

Toothless was brought out of his pitiful crooning from an incessant, eye-scorching white light that practically engulfed the entire cove. He screeched under the blinding intensity, before turning around, covering his eyes with his paws and burying himself underneath his wings against the floor, but it still hardly helped.

_And then it stopped._

Turning around, he was about to start cussing at the spots that refused to leave his vision, but he lost every train of thought with a jaw-slackened stutter. Eyes broader than the horizon, with shrunken pupils of brain-ceasing disbelief and his jaw loosely unhinged, Toothless stumbled on his feet standing still, crouching down on his rump to steady himself.

_In front of him, lay a very different Hiccup._

_:: H-Hi-Hiccup…? I-is that…_ you _? ::_ he paled, voice trembling and lungs still ragged and empty. He stiffened further at the sound of a groan, paling even more and freaking out just as much.

 _:: T-Toothless…? Gah, what the hell happened? I feel like I got_ _bulldozed by a Gronkle and flattened by the Meade-Hall- ::_ he seemed to freeze his natural release of complaints to make himself feel better when his own voice caught his attention. Standing before him, was the most incredible sight Toothless thought he had ever seen.

A sleek, white **_dragon_** , with the same features of a Night Fury, yet with slightly less… sharp and intimidating aspects. He was only a little smaller than himself, indicating the very small gap in age between them, and he had rounded, more bubbly ear-flaps, crystal azure eyes instead of those forest-pine ones he used to adorn, and soft and rounded, enormous wings with a smooth and curved pair of fins on the end of a long tail. His scales seemed to glimmer in the sunlight, sparkling chromatically yet remaining their matt-white, and finally looking at his frame, Toothless noticed how skinny, slim and seemingly malnourished for a dragon, Hiccup was.

He looked very much like some strange kind of albino Night Fury. A _white_ Fury. _Light Fury perhaps?_ Either way, it seemed to be some sort of adaptation of sorts, possibly to Berk's cold climate and snowy winters. Since Toothless was from south, _like all Night Furies are since they usually dislike cold climates,_ he had no idea what their evolution would be like if they weren't made for dark, cloudless night raids, and were born to this particular environment. It would appear that now, however, he did.

Within milliseconds of also checking himself out, the no-longer-human screeched, yelled, cussed and cursed every being of Viking mythology as his own body flailed in clearly unintentional ways.

Suddenly, he pinned his just-as-panicked-and-confused-gaze-as-me _on me_.

_:: What did you do to me? ::_ his voice came out cold and harsh, chilling Toothless' bones and core like exceptionally thick ice.

_He was blaming me, and somehow I still knew he had every right to. :: I don't know! I don't know what happened, don't look at me like that please! I'll, uhh, we'll figure something out! Yeah! We'll figure…_ this _all out, alright? But you just need to uhm, j-just calm down… ::_

It didn't take a genius to know he didn't appreciate my wording. _:: Calm down? CALM DOWN? HOW THE HEL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN WHEN I WAKE UP AS A GODS DAMN FIRE-BREATHING LIZARD IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER?! Calm down! ::_ he scoffed, _:: What. Did. You. Do to me? ::_ he repeated himself, taking wobbly, uneven yet still intimidating steps on four legs as he spoke.

Toothless shrank in on himself when realisation hit him.

_He had used a forgotten, ancient magic of his ancestors without even knowing it at the time._

_:: Ohhh Gods, ooookay I think I might have just realised what happened and it's not entirely good uhm… news… ::_ he began to backpedal as Hiccup snarled.

No, no no no… Hiccup was losing himself to newly emerged feral instincts. They were taking control of him, and he wasn't fighting back hard enough to stop it!

 _:: Hiccup! You have to think! We can talk this through and try to find a solution together for this, but you can't let that voice in your head tell you what to do! Don't let your instincts take control, or you'll lose yourself! I don't want to fight you! I_ _won't, so please just stop and think! ::_

Hiccup seemed to pause for a moment, a battle coalescing on the features of his face, an amalgamation of heart-clenching fear, ferocious anger, lost confusion and oppressive sadness, but most blatantly present through it all, was a layer of trust that slowly began in his eyes and ended with his scowl, turning only slightly less angular.

 _:: Explain, Toothless. My mind is screaming at me to kill you, and it's taking everything I have to restrain, but if you don't start telling me why I'm now several hundred pounds heavier than I was this morning and feeling the overwhelming need to show dominance and revenge towards you, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from doing something I may later regret but will sooner enjoy. ::_ the words seemed forced and literal.

Toothless realised that Hiccup wasn't joking.

_:: When we passed through that cloud, instincts I never even knew I had kicked in and I had no control over my own body. That cloud was filled with incredibly concentrated magical essence, something I've only heard of really in old dragon legends that's how rare it is… and the blast that I shot was filled with it. It's a magic I never even knew I had in particular, but I think it stems from my ancestors… Hiccup, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do this. I didn't even know this would happen! One second we're flying into the cloud, the next I felt this… this… prickling in the back of my head telling me to do what I did and before I knew it you fell unconscious! ::_

_:: Well did it **tell** you or **force** you? Because you just said both, and one of them I could possibly eventually forgive you for within _several years _, but the other is on such a whole different level as it tells me this was still **your** **choice** and you were only verbally influenced BY A VOICE! :: _Hiccup's teeth and eyelids visibly clenched, as if in agony from within. It was clear that he _WAS_ actually trying his hardest to fight whatever draconic instincts he was so unused to inside his head, but it still seemed to be a losing battle.

Toothless paused in horror at the answer he arrived at. _:: … I had no choice in the moment, but I didn't try to stop it_ _, either… I'm so sorry, Hicc- ::_ he was interrupted by a snarl of betrayal, shattering his heart painfully. _:: H-Hiccup…? ::_

 _:: You… You turned me into a dragon. You actually turned me into a dragon, Toothless, just LOOK AT ME! What the Hel am I supposed to do with my damn life now?! I'm a snarling, growling, bright-white dragon that no longer has ANY chance of fixing things with my own people! No chance of getting the girl of my dreams to like me, and NO CHANCE TO PROVE TO MY FATHER I'M NOT USELESS! I can't do any of those things now! The entirety of Berk thought of me as the screw-up failure of a chief's offspring, and now that I can't return ever again without being slaughtered, I'm only going to be remembered for the first week, replaced within the second, and never thought of again by the third! I don't have any chance of changing that fate now! ::_ his yelled screams echoed into the sky as he stared up hopelessly, until a growl interrupted it unnaturally, and pin-pricked eyes slowly shifted downwards to lock onto Toothless, freezing his heart.

The look he was giving him wasn't Hiccup anymore. It was feral. Rabid. _Hungry, and it wanted Toothless' blood just as promised._

 _:: Hold on, Hiccup! Nonono, don't give in! FIGHT IT! DON'T LISTEN TO THE VOICE, IT'S NOT YOU! ::_ he cut himself off when he realised that nothing was getting through. Nothing would stop it now, he was too far lost to negative thoughts that there was no recovery without pleasing dark desires that likely promised the boy relief.

His back hit the wall of the cove as his eyes widened. There was only one thing Toothless knew how to do that could stop this harmlessly, but he didn't know if he could really bring himself to do it.

 _:: Hiccup, please… Don't make me do this. We've done nothing but care about each other for the past many months… I've never grown closer with anyone in my life, so please don't make me erase all of that. Everything you are to me… I don't want to do this, but I will if it means we both live. ::_ the younger dragon showed no signs of stopping or listening.

He wasn't given any other choice.

Head dropping in shame and misery, Toothless whispered just loud enough for the white dragon in front of him to hear, _:: I promise I'll look after you, even if it costs me my life. This is my fault, and I won't erase them completely forever… But I just hope that when the time comes, you can find it in yourself to forgive me. ::_

With that, Hiccup leapt with his teeth unsheathed and open wide. Toothless barely had the time to duck underneath the attack, spin, and charge at the still recovering dragon, both tumbling several times. Pining the feral boy underneath him, he avoided the snaps of furious teeth that lashed out just mere inches from his neck, and timing it perfectly on the next retraction, he touched his nose and forehead to the other dragon, and released the specific magic spell. One of very few that he knew, yet never was he both so conflictingly relieved and heartbroken that it took knowing this spell for it to be the only option in this situation.

The effect was immediate. Hiccup's face falling wide and slack, eyes dilating unfocussed and body falling limp beneath him. Everything looked empty within the boy, until after a few unbearable seconds, a small glint of life came from his eyes, as well as a look of deep confusion.

_:: W-who… are… you…? ::_

Toothless had never felt so stung, hearing those words lacing his mind with poisonous, guilty barbs that choked him.

_:: My name is Toothless. You hit your head very hard while we were flying, Hiccup, but… I am… I-_

_I am your older brother, and I'll look after you. ::_

Instantly, his face seemed to brighten with recognition. It hurt to see him regain the smallest slither of memory back from such a deceitful story, but Toothless had no choice. He had to lie about lots to refrain from resurfacing Hiccup's memory, but he'd try to keep it as similar as he possibly, harmlessly could. He knew that eventually, it'd all come back to haunt him. He didn't completely erase all those sixteen years of memories Hiccup had; he didn't have the heart to even consider it, even if all his life Hiccup spent suffering without admitting it -vikings were stuborn like that- he knew Hiccup would never forgive him if he just erased it all permanently without permission. Instead, they were simply suppressed beneath the impregnable locks of magic, hopefully for enough time for Toothless to try to better things for them both.

He promised he would look after Hiccup until that day, and that's exactly what he planned to do. He'd have to teach him everything, and he'd have to… fake things for this all to work… But he'd do it. Do it for Hiccup, in the hopes that somehow, somewhere along the line, he could redeem himself...

_:: OH, TOOTHLESS! I think I remember now! Sorry, you must be right, I really hit my head hard if I forgot who my own_ brother _was, but I remember just a little of you now! ::_ Toothless was shocked when he felt a tongue rake out across his cheek in gratitude, and to both hear and feel the calming purr that danced through the throat that now rested against his neck caringly. Hiccup was now gently rubbing against his cheek, completely believing they were family. Completely in the dark to the truth.

Entirely oblivious to the lies.

He knew he shouldn't. He knew it was wrong to think of anything in this shameful situation like this. To react like this and pretend to ignore all his inner turmoils, but...

But he felt himself begin to purr too, eyes closing as he realised… this was quite nice, the feeling of brotherhood -as fake as it was.

That was the first time that Toothless also noticed, that… Perhaps even without realising it, he had always thought of Hiccup as a brother anyway.


End file.
